by Rowena Anderson
“I am pretty sure homeschool moms don’t actually teach their kids.” “Homeschool kids have poor social skills.” These are just two of things that have been thought, or even said, about homeschool. The irony is that those things were said by me, long before I began the homeschool journey with my son.
Growing up in a small rural town, I attended the same elementary, middle and high school as every other kid in my town. When my firstborn was ready for school, our family was living in the Tampa Bay area and lots of options were available. With little information on the options, and because of my own upbringing, I went with the traditional public route. I was blessed the school system had an open enrollment program at the time, so my firstborn secured a spot in the highest ranked elementary school in the county. The public option was working so we stuck with it through our zoned middle and high schools. My firstborn, who is a rule follower and sticks to in the box thinking, performed well and is now succeeding in college.
Kids are different though and schools change. My second child was not as easy. I could tell from the start that his path would be different. He contracted viruses easily and simple colds would result in hospital stays for dehydration. With all the hospital stays, he became very dependent on me, and preschool teachers would have to pry him away from me for his class. When it was time for kindergarten, I was concerned about his late birthday, but I enrolled him in a public charter, where I would later learn he was younger than 90 percent of his peers.
Kindergarten was a year with lessening separation anxiety but 15 missed days of school. Not surprisingly, he was behind at the end of the year. He proceeded to first grade and began a path to catching up, but missed 20 plus days and his separation anxiety lingered. What we were doing was not working, so I decided a private school might be a better choice. I was excited about a God centered curriculum and a small classroom setting. During the two years in the private Christian school, I saw both good and bad. I was pleased that my son was learning Biblical concepts but disheartened that he was in a classroom of 24 students. After year one, I could see him struggling but passed it off as adjustment. At the end of year two, I knew that he was not progressing in his academics. I surrendered to God, conferred with my husband, and completed paperwork to homeschool my son with no idea of what I was doing.
I will say that I had benefits when it came to homeschooling. I had completed my own teaching certification, I was part of a family of educators, and had a friend who inspired me and walked me through steps to begin the journey. I enrolled my son in a homeschool co-op and paid for the curriculum. I ordered math workbooks from e-bay. It was serious now.
I am not going to lie to you. The first year stunk. My son argued with me virtually every day. He did not want to do any of the assignments. He would say it was too hard. I would cry. The only thing that kept him going was my continual threats of returning him to public or private school. The interesting thing too was that my son now had homeschool friends he did not want to leave. The second year was better, his academic work improved and yes, he became more social. We still had battles of what time he could finish and what he needed to read. This last year (year three) the battles occurred less often but were tougher. At the same time, I learned on some days that both of us were beating our heads into the wall. We took breaks when needed and read anything to increase fluency and comprehension. Did we fail on some days to really “educate”? We probably did but then it all depends on a person’s definition of “educate”.
What have I found in homeschooling? I have found relationship with my son. We have deep discussions about things I am not even ready for myself. I have found my son is genuinely kind and caring towards his friends and their parents. I have found education does not just happen in a textbook. Education happens on a drive to the park, over a recipe in the kitchen and even when a sportscaster describes a wrestling move.
Through the school changes, and the three years of homeschool, my son and I have had the chance to talk about how bad things can turn to good. We have talked about the school changes and how hard it was to homeschool the first year. The two of us have realized that the two of us working on a tough math problem teaches us more than a big classroom could. Both of us have found some lasting friendships. And in the journey I discovered something . . . a homeschool kid can be educated and socialized.
