Testing can be used as an amazing tool. They can allow us to see if progress has been made and areas we can work on. As a homeschooler, we don’t have to waste time on teaching to the test and taking numerous tests every year. Tests can be reassuring and can be validation for a homeschool parent that they are on the right track. Testing for a special needs parent can be gut wrenching and heartbreaking. Results of testing for a child that has testing anxiety or just doesn’t test well can be soul crushing. I administer numerous tests every year and have a love/hate relationship with them now. I used to love everything about tests, I am a great test taker and love all of the numbers and data.
It wasn’t until my special needs girls went through psycho educational testing at the age of eight that I realized how damaging testing can be for certain children. My girls have been diagnosed with ASD, OCD and intellectual disability and they would leave these numerous testing sessions utterly broken. They would tell me they were dumb and didn’t know anything. We had to have numerous conversations about how not all skills are measured on tests and they have so many amazing talents that weren’t on that test.
I didn’t realize that I would need someone to give me the same talk after I saw the dismal test results. It felt as if my heart dropped to the floor as the nurse coldly and calculatedly told me my children had autism and they were significantly below average in all subject areas and I should put them in school so they could be “adequately educated.” I felt sick and I wanted to run out of the room and not hear anymore of my children’s inabilities and in essence as their teacher my failures as well. I was broken and defeated. All the progress I had seen them make disappeared as I realized I had failed them, (not truly, but this is how I felt).
I started looking at schools that could help my children better than I could. There wasn’t any local to be found and so I felt they would be stuck with me as their teacher. Slowly, I came to realize these girls were thriving! Every accommodation I saw mentioned in my reading was already being done in my home already. Their successes were frequent and amazing, but not measured in testing. They had completely learned about self care and were baking and fiercely loved the Lord. They were the ones who remind us to pray, read the Bible, and cling to the Lord when things are hard. In essence, they pushed us closer to the Lord and frequently remind us of simple truths we have forgotten.
They are currently going through extensive testing again because it has been three and a half years and we need updated records. They have come out of the testing more confident than last time because they know these test results won’t have lasting impact on their lives. They have a better self confidence because I have learned to praise them for their successes. I, on the other hand, am already nervous about the results. I know it will hurt and I will question our academic choices for a while. I anticipate it will be easier this time because I know my girls are fearfully and wonderfully made. I know we serve such an amazing God and that he has such an amazing purpose for these girls. I am so blessed to be able to watch their growth.
Test scores are an amazing tool and very reassuring in certain circumstances. They can be used to make academic choices and fill in gaps. It is so important to remember our children are not the sum of their test scores and that God has such an amazing plan for each of our children.
